You don't deserve

When you walked out of my life
You left it hanging on a knife
Didn't know what to do, to go which side
Had no idea about wrong or right

All that I could see was darkness
Nothing could ever clear all the mess
My life seemed like an endless tunnel
No remote control & hence stuck on a channel.

Love is blind, they say, it is true
I never did notice the flaws in you
And when I sat to think what went wrong
I could connect the dots & revelations came along.

Your heart was wandering
When you said you gave it to me
It was the biggest lie
That you cared & you loved me
I found love in those wicked eyes
How stupid could I be!

And of one thing I'm sure at this curve
A person like you does not deserve

All my tears
Which could flood a river
All my time
When I thought about you & shivered
All my attempts To get back to you
Thinking I was at fault too,
All my trust
I had on you
All the care & love for you.
No, you don't deserve.

Now I wont think once or twice
But a 100 times if I want to be wise.
My trust & love are guarded now
Wont free them easily, hereby I vow.

And now the tunnel has ended
Have the remote control at hand
The sun is back & the flowers are blooming
While it used to be a barren land.

I don't believe

Every time I see your lovely face
I walk down the memory lane
There are memories that well up my eys
To relive them I could even die.

I had thought you are the one for me
My prince charming only you could be
Then my fate slapped me hard and said
Life is not a fairy tale.
And now I don’t believe in love
No matter what you say.

I gave away my heart and soul
Just to be retuned in thousand pieces
But can you ever return those lovely moments
And the hugs and kisses?
I believed every word
You said that pleasant day
And now I don’t believe in love
No matter what you say.

Every promise that you made
Was meant to be broken
If I had known this before
In this trench I wouldn’t have fallen.
All the mesmerising feelings
I am keeping away.
And now I don’t believe in love
No matter what you say.

I got tickled all over
By every simple touch
And then everything else that followed
Meant just too much.
I closed my eyes and thought about it
As on my bed I lay.
And now I don’t believe in love
No matter what you say.

After all the tears I shed
To one conclusion they have led.
The love bug gets to one and all.
But in my case it never reaches the other side of the wall.
I have now locked all the doors after such a fall
And now I don’t believe in love, not at all.

heartbreak kid

I am the heartbreak kid

Newly born in town

Unaware of those clumsy feelings

Which keep bringing me down.

You said those words

& they hit like a bullet

Pierced through my heart

& tears were all set.

You kept asking if I’m fine

I kept lying, faking a smile.

I know it wasn’t easy for you

Then why did you ever have to?

I wet my pillow & wake up with a start

Thinking it’s a bad dream

But, “No, it’s not” says my heart.

Trudging along I met my friends

Even their best advices could not put an end.

The worst part was seeing you each day

Unable to forget you

Unable to hate you

Knowing not what to do,

Since I am the heartbreak kid

Newly born in town unaware of these clumsy feelings

Which keep bringing me down.

With the dawn of dusk,

I resolve to get over you

And the morning brings back everything

All that I had dumped away too.

While flowers prick like thorns

Love songs thud like car horns.

I keep myself going

Thinking this will be over soon

But my dreams claim the opposite,

That I’ll love you till doom.

You’ve giving me no reason to hate

Making things tough, a dreadful fate.

I am the heartbreak kid

It has been ages since I was born.

I still get those clumsy feelings

And I wonder when they’ll be gone.

To the life inside me

A s I strolled in the garden leaning against blossoming trees

I closed my eyes and heard the rumble of the water and humming of the bees.

Having walked for long as I sat near the fountain,

The reflection in the water reminded me of the joy

As tall as a mountain.

I saw my growing body as each day passed,

My bundle of joy was coming but it won’t last

I felt you growing inside me,

Such a lovely feeling it is

I wish I could keep you inside me

Oh! This is just bliss!

My child! Look at these lilies, the roses & daisies.

Can you hear the birds calling out to their babies?

Once you start seeing this world with your own tiny eyes,

I will not be there, but my baby, don’t ever cry.

For, they’ll love you a lot.

Even more than I can.

Caring will be your mother

And a great father will be that man.

Every time that I think of the moment they’ll cut the cord

It tears my heart and shatters me, Why oh why, my lord?

So easily people advice,

“Mary, this is the way of life.”

I’m giving you up for selfish needs,

Oh butcher, kill me with your knife

This isn’t as easy, as I had thought it would be.

I should now return to lord ‘cos anger is creeping in me.

You are holding on to my heart beats and once you are out

I’ll surrender to my Lord so will never have to doubt,

As to who caressed you inside her and then met a solemn death.

All your prayers my Lord will answer but this will always be a secret.

what's happening!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today, I’m feeling so weird

Even the round sun looks absurd.

The trees are dancing

To the tunes of my i-pod

The birds are singing

Love songs. Oh my God!

The stray dogs now don’t

Look as ugly as they used to

The sweepers sweep the road

Like it’s the best thing to do

The leaves of the gulmohar

Look like hanging hearts

The walk towards home

Seems like miles apart

The bill of my mobile

Was never so high

I was never so sad

While saying good-bye

I can’t help looking

At my red nails

Today, boring colours also

Don’t look pale.

All my books are stacked

Beside my pillow

And I’m talking on the phone

In a voice very low.

My parrot has started

Whistling in tune.

The stars wink back

As I gaze at the moon.

I have started cuddling

My blue teddy bear

I hear every weather report

Saying, “Love is in the air!”

In the sticker on the mirror

The greetings on the wall

The drawings on the door and

In the chandelier in the hall

I see one face

That laughs and smiles

And every time I blush

Mom keeps wondering why!

All this is happening

Since I met you

It’s all your fault

But I’m enjoying this too!

Is this love

Or just another crush?!

I’m so confused thinking,

And here, again I blush!

someone that's you

When you are feeling low

What’s next is that you don’t know

When life seems like a big dark hole

When there’s silence in your heart and soul

All that you need to do

Is believe in someone that’s you

When you think it’s over and you sit back and cry

When you dig in your pillow finding answers to how and why

When you stare at the ceiling and all you see is black

When you peep in your heart

And it wants the joys back

All that you need to do

Is believe in someone that’s you

When you feel the blues and there’s no rainbow on the move

When you feel you’re all alone

When you feel your hopes have torn

All that you need to do

Is believe in someone that’s you

When you see thorns in your way

When you sit idle night and day

When god seems to have turned deaf

When there’s absolutely nothing left

All that you need to do

Is believe in someone that’s you

When you’re crossing the hard path

And you find no hands to hold

When in the summer heat

You are sad and cold

All that you need to do

Is believe in someone that’s you

When after writing for many hours

The pages are still blank

When joys and smiles are far

And sorrows around you flank

All that you need to do

Is believe in someone that’s you

It’s you and your shadow always walking together

And it’s better that you know that helpings hands are not forever

It’s you who can make a better you

Instead of blaming others for what they told you to do

Someone who’s responsible for whatever you do

Let that person only be you

‘Cos even if the tears blame you

You’ll know the smiles have come your way because you let yourself lead you.

sad endings

I see something is stuck in my drawer

When I pull it I see it is your letter.

And that brings back memories gushing

Like a silent river after a rain shower

Like a small dew drop blooms a flower.

I start reading each word slowly

Each word brings a memory to glory.

The night when I was getting too bored

I said I wanted to have something cold.

You came all the way with an ice-cream

And we had eaten it at the window.

The day I wanted to go for the movie

It was house full and nowhere else I wanted to be

You bought two tickets from the person out there

Which cost you as much as your pocket money.

The day I was out with cold

My parents were out, as I had told

You came over to make me a cup of coffee

While you were supposed to study geography.

While writing the paper

When my pen went out of ink

You were asking everyone for it

And were blamed of copying.

Just before my exams

When I lost my dearest kin

You gave me so much confidence

So that i could win.

While on a date

When someone ogled at me

You punched him so hard,

I doubt he could see.

On my birthday

When I was waiting for the first call,

There was a knock on the door

And I tiptoed to the hall

I opened the door to find a present

I picked it and turned only to get a surprise pleasant

You and our friends shouted, “Happy birthday!”

My parents joined in too

Making me feel all happy and gay.

You gifted me a teddy bear on valentine’s

I had hidden it in my locker

But now it’s all mine.

We did chat that night

And next morning I received a letter from you.

Which said you had to leave

And that you wont come back very soon

And it’s better that I forgot the times

We spent together

The nights when we dined together

That one letter

Put it all to end

For better I guess but too much it meant.

I keep the letter back which said good-bye

And I close the drawer with a sigh

Knowing that you are happy

With someone, somewhere

In the corner of my heart

You’ll always be there.

And you’ll be remembered like this,

Again sometime somewhere.