life is beautiful....n i express it through words..

2010-06-02T11:22:00.000-07:00

I miss those days when I used to play
With mud and rain and sand and clay,
When I didn't have to bother
And freely on the grass I would Lay.
When wounds used to heal with dettol
And the pain was momentary and then nothing at all
When scars were not a matter of worry
When maggi and chips were meals and not vegetable curry.
When my doll got married to my best friend's doll
When I tried to clean after scribbling on the wall
When hide and seek was the ritual game
When i wagged my finger and said, "i will tell your name!"
When i was hit by the ruler for talking in class
When birthday parties were incomplete without the masks
When summer vacations meant lots of play & cartoon network
When I would say m busy cleaning my doll house when mom called from work
When complaing to the teacher was the easiest way out
When I would give away my secrets without having any doubts
When all I had to do was bite my tongue when dad yelled
When dad smiled as for the 1st time from my bike i fell
All these tings I miss now
And one ting I would say
Noting in my life has ever happened
That can match up to my childhood days!!!

NOT WITHOUT YOU

2010-06-02T11:19:00.000-07:00

I'm lying here all helpless,
Lately, my life has become a huge mess.
I lied to you which I shouldn't have
'Cos it ruined whatever we had.

I was a fool to think that you will find some one else
And that i'll watch you drifting away in wedding bells
It's not like i didn't know what you mean to me
But now I know every breath without you is difficult for me.

How stupid I was to think you would bear it all
And yes my plan was a big flop
I deprived myself and u of all the togetherness
But I know your love for me is nothing less

I'm here waiting for you fighting all the devils
And you are rushing your way knowing every moment kills (me)
My eyes are stuck to the door
And I'm getting closer to god more and more
But one thing is for sure, my heart says that too,
I'm not going away till I see you,
No honey, not without you.

YOU LOVE ME TOO

2010-03-08T11:50:00.000-08:00

Talking to you every single night
Losing my senses when you are in sight
Fighting with you over the silliest thing
And the next you know is we're smiling :)
Getting to know you better everyday
Teasing you & then slightly touching your face

All these things just make me love you
And the best thing is that you love me too.
I'm here
You're here
Make the sorrows disappear
I can feel it
You can too
Love is forever & it's true.

Answering your silliest questions
Crying on your shoulder in depression
Winking at you the way you like it ;)
Staring at you without blinking a bit
Missing these moments when you are'nt around

All these things just make me love you
And the best thing is that you love me too.

Whispering "love you" when mom's around
And when I speak normally, you say, "Don't be loud!"
Pulling your leg & then making a sorry face
Sitting together, nothing to do, eating 'lay's
Sitting through a boring movie, just to be with you
Watchin formula 1 races, something I would never do.

All these things just make me love you
And the best thing is that you love me too.

Sitting at the beach, talking for hours
Goinf=g for a ride in your big white car
Hugging you tight to make myself feel complete
Keeping all your messages, not even one do I delete.

Seeing yourself through my eyes
Is a totally different view for you
'Cos one thing you'll realise
You are just too good to be true!
Why else do you think I'm so crazily in love with you!♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

You don't deserve

2010-02-07T04:44:00.000-08:00

When you walked out of my life
You left it hanging on a knife
Didn't know what to do, to go which side
Had no idea about wrong or right

All that I could see was darkness
Nothing could ever clear all the mess
My life seemed like an endless tunnel
No remote control & hence stuck on a channel.

Love is blind, they say, it is true
I never did notice the flaws in you
And when I sat to think what went wrong
I could connect the dots & revelations came along.

Your heart was wandering
When you said you gave it to me
It was the biggest lie
That you cared & you loved me
I found love in those wicked eyes
How stupid could I be!

And of one thing I'm sure at this curve
A person like you does not deserve

All my tears
Which could flood a river
All my time
When I thought about you & shivered
All my attempts To get back to you
Thinking I was at fault too,
All my trust
I had on you
All the care & love for you.
No, you don't deserve.

Now I wont think once or twice
But a 100 times if I want to be wise.
My trust & love are guarded now
Wont free them easily, hereby I vow.

And now the tunnel has ended
Have the remote control at hand
The sun is back & the flowers are blooming
While it used to be a barren land.

I don't believe

2010-01-24T03:53:00.000-08:00

Every time I see your lovely face
I walk down the memory lane
There are memories that well up my eys
To relive them I could even die.

I had thought you are the one for me
My prince charming only you could be
Then my fate slapped me hard and said
Life is not a fairy tale.
And now I don’t believe in love
No matter what you say.

I gave away my heart and soul
Just to be retuned in thousand pieces
But can you ever return those lovely moments
And the hugs and kisses?
I believed every word
You said that pleasant day
And now I don’t believe in love
No matter what you say.

Every promise that you made
Was meant to be broken
If I had known this before
In this trench I wouldn’t have fallen.
All the mesmerising feelings
I am keeping away.
And now I don’t believe in love
No matter what you say.

I got tickled all over
By every simple touch
And then everything else that followed
Meant just too much.
I closed my eyes and thought about it
As on my bed I lay.
And now I don’t believe in love
No matter what you say.

After all the tears I shed
To one conclusion they have led.
The love bug gets to one and all.
But in my case it never reaches the other side of the wall.
I have now locked all the doors after such a fall
And now I don’t believe in love, not at all.

heartbreak kid

2009-12-29T10:41:00.000-08:00

I am the heartbreak kid

Newly born in town

Unaware of those clumsy feelings

Which keep bringing me down.

You said those words

& they hit like a bullet

Pierced through my heart

& tears were all set.

You kept asking if I’m fine

I kept lying, faking a smile.

I know it wasn’t easy for you

Then why did you ever have to?

I wet my pillow & wake up with a start

Thinking it’s a bad dream

But, “No, it’s not” says my heart.

Trudging along I met my friends

Even their best advices could not put an end.

The worst part was seeing you each day

Unable to forget you

Unable to hate you

Knowing not what to do,

Since I am the heartbreak kid

Newly born in town unaware of these clumsy feelings

Which keep bringing me down.

With the dawn of dusk,

I resolve to get over you

And the morning brings back everything

All that I had dumped away too.

While flowers prick like thorns

Love songs thud like car horns.

I keep myself going

Thinking this will be over soon

But my dreams claim the opposite,

That I’ll love you till doom.

You’ve giving me no reason to hate

Making things tough, a dreadful fate.

I am the heartbreak kid

It has been ages since I was born.

I still get those clumsy feelings

And I wonder when they’ll be gone.

To the life inside me

2009-12-29T10:40:00.000-08:00

A s I strolled in the garden leaning against blossoming trees

I closed my eyes and heard the rumble of the water and humming of the bees.

Having walked for long as I sat near the fountain,

The reflection in the water reminded me of the joy

As tall as a mountain.

I saw my growing body as each day passed,

My bundle of joy was coming but it won’t last

I felt you growing inside me,

Such a lovely feeling it is

I wish I could keep you inside me

Oh! This is just bliss!

My child! Look at these lilies, the roses & daisies.

Can you hear the birds calling out to their babies?

Once you start seeing this world with your own tiny eyes,

I will not be there, but my baby, don’t ever cry.

For, they’ll love you a lot.

Even more than I can.

Caring will be your mother

And a great father will be that man.

Every time that I think of the moment they’ll cut the cord

It tears my heart and shatters me, Why oh why, my lord?

So easily people advice,

“Mary, this is the way of life.”

I’m giving you up for selfish needs,

Oh butcher, kill me with your knife

This isn’t as easy, as I had thought it would be.

I should now return to lord ‘cos anger is creeping in me.

You are holding on to my heart beats and once you are out

I’ll surrender to my Lord so will never have to doubt,

As to who caressed you inside her and then met a solemn death.

All your prayers my Lord will answer but this will always be a secret.

what's happening!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-07-16T08:18:00.000-07:00

Today, I’m feeling so weird

Even the round sun looks absurd.

The trees are dancing

To the tunes of my i-pod

The birds are singing

Love songs. Oh my God!

The stray dogs now don’t

Look as ugly as they used to

The sweepers sweep the road

Like it’s the best thing to do

The leaves of the gulmohar

Look like hanging hearts

The walk towards home

Seems like miles apart

The bill of my mobile

Was never so high

I was never so sad

While saying good-bye

I can’t help looking

At my red nails

Today, boring colours also

Don’t look pale.

All my books are stacked

Beside my pillow

And I’m talking on the phone

In a voice very low.

My parrot has started

Whistling in tune.

The stars wink back

As I gaze at the moon.

I have started cuddling

My blue teddy bear

I hear every weather report

Saying, “Love is in the air!”

In the sticker on the mirror

The greetings on the wall

The drawings on the door and

In the chandelier in the hall

I see one face

That laughs and smiles

And every time I blush

Mom keeps wondering why!

All this is happening

Since I met you

It’s all your fault

But I’m enjoying this too!

Is this love

Or just another crush?!

I’m so confused thinking,

And here, again I blush!

someone that's you

2009-07-15T04:49:00.002-07:00

When you are feeling low

What’s next is that you don’t know

When life seems like a big dark hole

When there’s silence in your heart and soul

All that you need to do

Is believe in someone that’s you

When you think it’s over and you sit back and cry

When you dig in your pillow finding answers to how and why

When you stare at the ceiling and all you see is black

When you peep in your heart

And it wants the joys back

All that you need to do

Is believe in someone that’s you

When you feel the blues and there’s no rainbow on the move

When you feel you’re all alone

When you feel your hopes have torn

All that you need to do

Is believe in someone that’s you

When you see thorns in your way

When you sit idle night and day

When god seems to have turned deaf

When there’s absolutely nothing left

All that you need to do

Is believe in someone that’s you

When you’re crossing the hard path

And you find no hands to hold

When in the summer heat

You are sad and cold

All that you need to do

Is believe in someone that’s you

When after writing for many hours

The pages are still blank

When joys and smiles are far

And sorrows around you flank

All that you need to do

Is believe in someone that’s you

It’s you and your shadow always walking together

And it’s better that you know that helpings hands are not forever

It’s you who can make a better you

Instead of blaming others for what they told you to do

Someone who’s responsible for whatever you do

Let that person only be you

‘Cos even if the tears blame you

You’ll know the smiles have come your way because you let yourself lead you.

sad endings

2009-07-15T04:49:00.001-07:00

I see something is stuck in my drawer

When I pull it I see it is your letter.

And that brings back memories gushing

Like a silent river after a rain shower

Like a small dew drop blooms a flower.

I start reading each word slowly

Each word brings a memory to glory.

The night when I was getting too bored

I said I wanted to have something cold.

You came all the way with an ice-cream

And we had eaten it at the window.

The day I wanted to go for the movie

It was house full and nowhere else I wanted to be

You bought two tickets from the person out there

Which cost you as much as your pocket money.

The day I was out with cold

My parents were out, as I had told

You came over to make me a cup of coffee

While you were supposed to study geography.

While writing the paper

When my pen went out of ink

You were asking everyone for it

And were blamed of copying.

Just before my exams

When I lost my dearest kin

You gave me so much confidence

So that i could win.

While on a date

When someone ogled at me

You punched him so hard,

I doubt he could see.

On my birthday

When I was waiting for the first call,

There was a knock on the door

And I tiptoed to the hall

I opened the door to find a present

I picked it and turned only to get a surprise pleasant

You and our friends shouted, “Happy birthday!”

My parents joined in too

Making me feel all happy and gay.

You gifted me a teddy bear on valentine’s

I had hidden it in my locker

But now it’s all mine.

We did chat that night

And next morning I received a letter from you.

Which said you had to leave

And that you wont come back very soon

And it’s better that I forgot the times

We spent together

The nights when we dined together

That one letter

Put it all to end

For better I guess but too much it meant.

I keep the letter back which said good-bye

And I close the drawer with a sigh

Knowing that you are happy

With someone, somewhere

In the corner of my heart

You’ll always be there.

And you’ll be remembered like this,

Again sometime somewhere.

now i trust nobody

2009-07-15T04:46:00.002-07:00

As I sit with a pen and paper in my hand

I think of no one but the person in me

I am no statue of clay and sand

But a human with flesh and bones, as you see.

As I step every morning outside the door

With happiness and confidence all rearing to go

I don’t wonder while I am waiting for the bus

If sum one is staring at me from head to toe

But being carefree is not what I should be doing

Because of the horrifying news the paper is blowing

And every time I read of rape or harassment

My brain gets a jolt and I think till I bend

We the weaker sex, in this patriarchal society

Will we always be treated like dirt on a shoe?

However high posts I hold in this world

In corporate, in politics, in professions well-known

At the end of the day when I hold the piece of paper again

I see myself right at the bottom of the game

Is this what I get for looking good?

Is this what you do if my skirt is shorter than it should?

Is this how I should feel when I am alone?

Am I ever going to be able to laugh and not mourn?

Is trust such a feeble word that you can break it anytime you please?

If my guardian is doing this to me

Should I stop believing in angels?

Am I always to be blamed,

Because he overpowered me?

Because I couldn’t stop him from looking at me?

Because I was friends with him

And lay my trust on him?

Will I ever be able to live peacefully

Without the haunts of the demons who are free?

Is there ONE person who’ll tell us

What wrong have we done?

We are born as girls, is that our crime?

Or are we just objects for you to have fun?

Now I trust nobody in my life

And I live a list of “do-nots”

Sometimes I even think that

I have lost faith in you O Lord.

i love you

2009-07-15T04:46:00.001-07:00

Lying on the bed,

Staring at the ceiling

I wish I could tell you

How I am feeling.

Every morning I pledge

To tell you what I feel

And every evening I apologise

To myself for breaking the deal

The moment you appear,

I travel to a completely different world.

With fairies and fantasies

Which seem so real.

When you call out my name

I feel as if I am reborn

And I wonder if you

Think about me when I’m gone.

When you give me surprises,

There’s no chance I leave cloud 9

I love to ask you,

“How are you”

Just to hear that lovely,

“I am fine”

I still have the flower

From the bouquet you gave me

Your fragrance still surrounds it

So I’ve kept it safely to let it be

When you call me at night

For some query or doubt

I talk like a canary

Telling you all you u want to know about

When you praise me

In front of others

I feel like receiving

An award at the Oscars

When you say

I look beautiful,

Every cell and tissues

In me feels wonderful.

When I match

My steps with yours

I wish I could

Walk like that for hours.

When you hold my hand while crossing

When I don’t eat and you start bossing

I feel like a kid

And act like one in that bid

The first rain drop

I shared with you

I still feel it with

Every drop of dew.

When you dropped me home that night,

And I was scared to go upstairs,

Your smile gave me all the strength

To answer the “who, why and where”

All these things I remember

Throughout the night till dawn

With a hope I say, “I love you”

Before the day has passed and gone

i am waiting

2009-07-15T04:44:00.000-07:00

I saw you in my dream and feel in love again

I know you’ll come one day and just take me away

In every new face, I see you smiling at me

And it gives me all the strength to be willing as a bee.

Every moment passes by in your thoughts and memories

I know you are struggling your way so it keeps me all worries

Every moment of pain slashes down my hope

My heart says you’ll come and I know I have to cope

I know it’s not easy, a dreadful path to walk on

To cross the seas, the mountains but my love will keep you strong.

I see my bruises and wonder how you will react

The scars have marred my body but on my heart there’s no impact

My heart, my mind, my soul I have given it all to you.

So even if they kill me I’ll still remain in you.

I am waiting for the day when I hear you say, “Let’s go”

And I’ll just follow like a shadow to be loved again like before.

happy valentine's day

2009-07-15T04:37:00.000-07:00

Happy Valentine ’s Day

My stars say I’ll meet my love today

So I leave from home with an anxious heart

Hoping to meet him, but not miles apart.

At the cafe I see you sitting with

A book in hand taking a coffee sip

I sit at a table from where I can see you

Engrossed in the book called “P.S. I Love You”

We are the only loners in the cafe teeming with couples

The waiter comes for the order and I say, “Frappe with chocolate scoops double.”

Then I look in the mirror to adjust my hair

And just then you see me and give a friendly stare

I give you an awkward smile

And curse myself after that for a while

We get our orders at the same time

You start sipping yours while I stare at mine

I am lost in my own world when I hear a “Hi”

And I’m pleasantly surprised

But try my best to hide.

I offer you to join me,

Glad that you weren’t waiting for some other she!

We start talking and then there’s no end

I talk frantically as my excitement has no bend.

I realise you are 3 years elder to me

But that doesn’t deter me from telling you all about me.

After some time, we realise,

We have missed out on something

And wish each other “Happy Valentine’s Day”

When the waiter brings the bill.

I look at him scornfully

But you don’t notice that, thankfully!

You start moving, leaving your book behind

I fetch it for you and a note falls from inside

I pick it up and read the “red heart” note

It says, “Happy Valentine’s Day,

I hope you read this today

I’ve been waiting for this moment

For, like more than, 6 months

To be with you, t talk with you

To see you smile at least once.”

I look up at your anxious eyes

Hoping to hear something,

Before the moment dies

We stare at each other

For I don’t know how long

And I realise, eyes can express

More than words of any song.

We walk along filled with joy

You buy me a pink rose and

Cupid whispers’ “Cute boy!”

I thank my stars for being so kind

We lost our hearts to each other

And are at loss of thoughts from the mind

After walking for some time,

We sit on a bench

I rest on your shoulder

Hoping the day never ends

On facebook, yesterday, I wrote, “Oops! No valentine!”

And today I’ll write, “Finally I found the one who’ll always be mine..........”

There is Someone

2009-05-28T10:43:00.000-07:00

There is someone

Who comes in the dark

And looks at me so,

That it gives me a spark!

There is someone who stays in my closet

And picks a nice dress

So that I look my best

There is someone

Who sticks to my mirror

And admires me like

No one has ever.

There is someone

Who pops up from my book

And tells me to read till

He rests in some corner or nook

There is someone

Who tells me

How nice a pink shade will look

There is someone who

Tells me recipes while I cook

There is someone who

Lends a shoulder while I cry

There is someone who

Says, “Don’t give up, come on try!”

There is someone who

Lets me talk with myself

There is someone

Whose shadow in my heart dwells

He’s always with me

But nowhere around

When I look out for him,

I hear a sound

Which says, “I’m within you, dear

You will find me someday

So you needn’t fear

So I again go

Back to sleep in the dark

Waiting for him

To give me a spark!